Unbearable aching...

The aching seem to get worse tonight,
I hope someone could relieve my pain.
It's simply unpleasant.

I'm in pain, and as if there was this monstrous feeling in me wanting to yell and scream the pain out...
That urge to yell and scream my agony, it was just so unbearable tonight...

Another friend's entry post, it's about being selfless.

"A selfless personality,
I know I couldn't expect anything in return,
But at least a "Thank you".

It feel like I have to do it,
It feel like I didn't have a choice.
It make me feel so emotionless.

An order that I have to obey,
A law that I must not break.

I find myself becoming more flexible in dealing situation.
No matter what happened, Whether is it bad or good, I have to take it and deal with it. It's really about sucking it up. Sometimes, I asked myself, Do I have a choice?
No I don't, I was never given a choice but to deal with it, but to create my own options to deal with the problem I faced.
Whether am I happy or sad, seriously who really give a thought on how I actually feel.

Simply, I don't think anyone would say they give a thought for me.
I'm soft because I respect another people's thought.
But sometime it really getting my nerves when that effort was being taken for granted. And when I wanted to just blow it off, I told myself I shouldn't cause it will be unpleasant.

It start to get contradicting.

Were you the me that I used to know?

Have you ever really listen to me,
My thoughts, my feeling?
Have you ever really feel for me, really care for me, really understand what I really need?

You never did.

I felt as if there was a masking tape on my mouth whenever I see you,
Because of my thoughts for you,
because of my thoughts for not being selfish,
because of the selfless personality that doesn't want to bring you down and make you feel so low.
Even so, I know you wouldn't feel that way right?

Did you really care? Did you?
This is one of the many things I want you to know,
your solution will be ending this,
Without even learning the problem, the solution was already made.
This is what I can predict when you know the truth,
And this wasn't the outcome I wanted.

An unpleasant piece of message slip away from my locked heart.
Having hopes that it would make a difference, a good difference."

- Anonymous Plot