What's going on?

"Happy for others, but felt kinda pathetic for myself..."
That the quote of the day for me before I turned in today...

Ya I know it's late,
it's like 3.30 am...

Why am I doing this to myself?
Staying up late, sketching aimlessly...
it's like a routine each night...

Can't be bothered to repeat myself...
I'm still...

Puzzled and confused...