I guess, my temper really have it's limitations...

To be honest,
I think you have really go beyond my limit,

The sudden change of your mood,
The anger you vent on me...
Especially without reason, that really turns me off...

Even after knowing the reason,
It just doesn't make sense...

I'm came with good intentions,
But as a result, things turned bad...

I'm seriously controling my temper,
But you always want to make me burst...

I always told myself to control...
But this time,
It's going beyond my boiling point...

Doesn't match...

It is tough talking to you,
Many times, I was left breathless...

It seem stupid...

My impression wasn't good at all...

I've graduated...

The wrong outfit,
the wrong event,
the wrong people,
the wrong thinking,
the wrong emotion and simply the wrong me...

I wasn't interested in explaining much of myself today...
But what I see was,
Joke ain't funny anymore and it's simply turned me off...

I wasn't please with many things,
Probably, I didnt get much sleep last night...

What I've learnt was,
We can go out together,
But it's just me and you...

I would avoid the big group,
simply becaues, I'm tired of explaining to people, what had went wrong...
Or probably being laugh at...

It's easy to say that it was a breakup,
But many things you didn't know, that I was covering up things...

When the Mood wasn't right,
the best is to leave and don't destroy those happy little ones...
I need a timeout...

I forgot to take an emo shot...

I desire...

Tablet,
Starcraft 2...

What's worth?

I think I really tossed away those hurtful feeling,
that troubled me for those few weeks...

Feel so, relieved I guess...

Thanks Stephanie:D
talking to you is like some awesome thing, really!

Minds

Narrowed minded, Simple minded, plus Opened minded...

Totally awesome...
It's great watching couple taking care of one another...

It was the thoughtfulness, care and simply concern:D

It wasn't that bad afterall!

Took me a second

I'm going in,
three weeks is soon to come...

I will be there soon...

Thanks for teaching me about the feeling thing,
It makes me recall and remember it for life...

The reason is because of you,
that turns me off that why I didnt go...

You just spoilt the atmosphere...

Stop it,really...

The truth is, I didnt know the truth...

If I didn't met Amanda today,
I wont know how girl's perspective was...

And now that I know some things,
That when you say you want to break up without hesitating,
It's already a game over thing for me...

Afterall she was right about most of the things...

And I recalled,
Ever since that day,
you told me that you dont have feeling anymore...

What Surprise me the most was you could just say that so easily...

"That feeling of just breaking up"
"That feeling of just breaking up"

I'm utterly miserable and I'm freaking done with this...
I'm hurted seriously bad and I'm really really really felt so !!!!

Don't say sorry,
cause it won't helped...

Because of the thoughts,
that doesn't make sense to me...

It was a JOKE!
It was all about the feeling...
It was a thought that you didn't spare me at all...

I'm toyed actually...
that's kinda of sad, but ya, I was...

The truth is,
I didn't know the truth...

I feel really STUPID,
Really STUPID,
STUPID...

Can someone just call me and ask me out, if not I feel like tossing my head to the wall!!!
I need someone so badly!

I will draw it,

We can sit along with those sad song playing...
We made fun of it,
asking one another how we feel about the song...

The happy moments happened when you are around...

But when you leave,
The place just felt so empty again...

I know my nightmare will come alive one day,
When he would comes and stand beside you...

I'm not sure how well will I deal with it,
but I'm certain that it's gonna hurt me badly...

For that tears,
I stand back...

Dont keep saying the same verse,
Dont repeat it...
I got you,
I'm drawing that line,soon...

That same old dream, just doesn't make me any sleepy...

25 Days to enlistment...

All I'm trying to do now is to cherish you and make you see that I do care,
I need to rush things before there is no time left...

Hardworking tomorrow onwards, and no time to waste...
Just walk with me...

What's going on?

"Happy for others, but felt kinda pathetic for myself..."
That the quote of the day for me before I turned in today...

Ya I know it's late,
it's like 3.30 am...

Why am I doing this to myself?
Staying up late, sketching aimlessly...
it's like a routine each night...

Can't be bothered to repeat myself...
I'm still...

Puzzled and confused...

The last thing I said...

the never ending night...

How much I felt for you, and how much I express my feelings to you,
You never failed on resisting it...

I thank you for sparing me that thought, but I just didnt want to just let it go like this...
I keep saying and I keep on trying , I didnt want to let you go...

I guess maybe you will find me stubborn for not letting you go,
but the fact is I really felt that it was a misunderstanding that brought us apart...

I have to step back now, cause I know i'm making you annoyed sooner or later...

I Could only blame myself for just letting you go...

The one who start it first was the first one who left,
The one that fall at the last are the one who always gets to end it...

I'll leave it on the blog and not taking it to you...
Cant help myself about this but, Im still in love with you...

R.I.P granduncle..

Emotionally speechless...
Need a space to reflect and someone that listens...

I'm not at the right mind...
I keep sketching...
And sketching...

Perhaps

Taking things to another perspective, you will see different things...
Am I too late??







The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalms 34:18
Thank you good friend :D

its 4.42 am

I fall asleep and its a tedious task for me now...
Even my dreams, have make you appear...

The memories of you just keep flashing,
What is this... Seriously!!!
I cant sleep!!!

Help me please ,give me sleeping pill...
Ya I used to have my dream, but it vanished...
Ya it did...

Painful... Darn it hurts.... T.T

The duck that couldn't sleep...
Im sorry, but its you that Im dreaming of ...

我没有说谎...

Withdrawing too much of my ownself,
Create that boundaries,
that made me kept my silent...

In my room that was so empty,
create you as that hallucination...
Nightmares of you, was never a doubt...
That caught me awake till the sun arise...

When I woke up,
the nightmare never stop...

It's seem to be a routine,
so much pain,
so much sorrow,
and so much of you...

I'm living breathless,
I'm living or am I not ??

Back and bad..

Why is this even happening?

i watch over the night...

Just go sleep bah,
Because I know I couldnt...

it's tough

That moment when I approach my bed, I sense it coming so badly...
What a night...
What a terrible night...

I took another route...

Maybe, the way to overcome it was to face it all...
I think, I learnt something about this...
That is to face it,

Though it's harsh and hurtful,
Which left me breathless,
I still need to pick myself up and learn...

I'm not saying that I'm perfectly fine right now,
But I'm just taking things in another way...

I dont wanna behave like a kid,
or being childish...

I'm not sure how it will work out,
But it feels better for me...


"Slow withdrawing, probably make its better..."

Maroon 5

I never knew perfection til
I heard you speak, and now it kills me
Just to hear you say the simple things
Now waking up is hard to do
And sleeping is impossible too
Everything is reminding me of you
What can I do?

It's not right, not OK
Say the words that you say
Maybe we're better off this way?
I'm not fine, I'm in pain
It's harder everyday
Maybe we're better off this way?
It's better that we break¦

A fool to let you slip away
I chase you just to hear you say
You're scared and that you think that I'm insane

The city look so nice from here
Pity I can't see it clearly
While you're standing there, it disappears
It disappears

It's not right, not OK
Say the word it should say

Maybe we're better off this way?
I'm not fine, I'm in pain
It's harder everyday
Maybe we're better off this way?
It's better that we break

So you sitting all alone
You're fragile and you're cold, but that's all right
Life these days is getting rough
They've knocked you down and beat you up
But it's just a rollercoaster anyway, yeah

It's not right, not OK
Say the words that you say
Maybe we're better off this way?
I'm not fine, I'm in pain
It's harder everyday
Maybe we're better off this way?

I'm not fine, not OK
Say the words that you say
Maybe we're better off this way?

I'm not fine, I'm in pain
It's harder everyday
Maybe we're better off this way?
It's better that we break, baby



To that new close friend:
I'm sorry that I didn't told you about this,
But the fact is I didn't get a chance to even talk about this...
It just wasnt the right time...
And I'm sorry...

Hiding feeling, is it enough?


Oversea study admission is super complicated...

Korea,
Taiwan,
USA,
London,
India...

And it's challenging...

Btw prayer works...:D

Caught in the middle...

Another one month to endure,
I'm struck in nowhere...

Everyday, is like a misery...
Sit down, and I recall the flashback...
Sleep, and it about the nightmare...

I lose interest in what I do now...
I feel like a retarder,
I'm feeling restless...

Where is the restart button??

I'm in nowhere...
Where to go?

I cant put my mind right,
I feel stupid literally...

What I am doing?

It just keep running down...

Can't control the tear...
I lose the control...

It's describe well...

翻著我們的照片 想念若隱若現
Flipping through our photographs, thoughts of [you] are visible yet invisible

去年的冬天 我們笑得很甜
Last year's winter, we laughed very sweetly

看著妳哭泣的臉, 對著我說再見
Watching your tearstained face, telling me goodbye

來不及聽見　妳已走得很遠
[I] have yet to hear it when you've already walked so far

也許妳已經放棄我　也許已經很難回頭
Perhaps you have already given up on me, perhaps it is already very difficult to turn back

我知道是自己錯過　請再給我一個理由說妳不愛我
I know it's all my fault, please give me another reason, say you don't love me



就算是我不懂　能不能原諒我
Even if I don't understand, can [you] forgive me?

請不要把分手當作妳的請求
Please don't use parting (breakup) as your request

我知道堅持要走 是妳受傷的藉口
I know wanting to go is your wound's excuse

請妳回頭　我會陪妳一直走到最後
[Can] you please turn back, I will accompany you until the very end



就算沒有結果　我也能夠承受
Even if there is no conclusion, I can still endure

我知道妳的痛　是我給的承諾
I know your pain is the promise I gave

妳說給過我縱容　沉默是因為包容
You said [you] gave me tolerance, and silence was because of acceptance

如果要走　請妳記得我　如果難過　請妳忘了我
If [you] want to go, please remember me, if [you] feel sad, please forget me

I guess the prayer last night was good,
Although, it kinda of tough getting to sleep,
I seem to be protected somehow...

I fear to fall asleep,
Cause I'm scared of my dreams...

201 post the breaking...

Well, I guess it all over...
Ya...
There is no doubt, we broke off yesterday...
It's seem to be a hard one...

But I want it to be written down on this blog for my memories and also I'm writing it to you...

Everytime I talk about the future,
She always seem uncertain...
She always get to walk away from that conversation that we have...

The reason why she wanted to break:
It's about me going Oversea to study...
It's about I'm being poor...
And her desire of freedom...

Deep down in me,
I'm waiting for the real answer...
Cause, I dont know which to believe in...
or probably every single key were the reason...

I'm not sure though,
But I'm pretty screwed up right now...

When you told me you want to end this relationship,
it break me apart...

Because I wanted to go oversea and study,
And I guess you lost faith in me...

Eventually, my thought was,

"This could be just one obstacle that most of the couple will face,
Why can't we face it together and move on with it...
We can plan for the future..."

It seem that you wasn't really interested about it...
The next thing you say,

"Ya, it's ok we can don't break up,
we can still be together,
But I will never put any feeling for you anymore..."

Every single time, when this flashback in my mind,
I feel like the worst loser in my life,
It just hurt me so much...
To reassure it once again,

This is the most hurtful part...

I'm sorry, I'm poor...
I'm sorry that I couldn't afford many things for you,
I cant buy you nice clothes,
you couldn't wear you favourite heels,
cause I'm short...

You can't get to eat the food that you like...
Sorry for being poor...

About the freedom part,
I have nothing much to say...

Till the very end of this relationship,
I never blame you,
But I just want to know the truth...
You give me up,
While I'm trying so hard to work things out with you...

I initiate this break up,
because,
I guess, you really deserve better...
Probably holding you back might just make you more miserable...

Or in fact, it's already a misery for you...
I'm sorry but I still have that strong feeling, that I'm trying to stop it...
Sorry for making you so miserable for all this time...

To you, and only you...
Whenever I told you that I love you,
I truly mean it from my bottom of my heart...

And even though we break off,
I pray with all my heart,
that you will meet someone better off than me...
I was never good enough for you...
Never a good person after all...

If you even find that someone,
Do love him and dont create that barrier...
Don't push his hand away, when he tried to hold your hand tight...
And if he does hug you,
Do whisper to his ear that you love him...

I wish that you'll be good for now...

Till the very end of this,
there is many things,
that I still do not know...

I guess, it's up to that someone to carry on...

Sorry for the harsh words that I used on you,
Cause I can't control my emotion...
I hope I could be that best boyfriend in your life...

And once again,
for the very last time I would say,

To Sin mei,
I love you dearly,
It's hard for me to say this...

"But I guess, I have to let you go for now,
and I have to move on now..."

-Douglas

It's tough...

It tough to hold back the tears,
because you give me up like this...

It just keep flowing down...

I'm ending her misery tonight for being with me...

I'm sad, but i'm counting down...
I am...

I'm seriously going crazy!

I dont know who to talk to,
I dont know how and dont know what to do !

Oh please, dont treat me like this!