Over due one month ago...

Now I'm sitting down on my bed, using my brother's laptop to blog about this stupid relationship...
My relationship was so screwed up, that I decided to seal myself off with the world for a month maybe more...
I'm still not sure how long will it take but I guess, it's gonna take quite sometime, a really long period...

I'm utterly sad about this breakup but I guess there's nothing left for me to fight for it...

Part of the breakfall in my relationship was a simple test that I had plotted to test you.
Eventually, the result was kinda of expected but yet I was still hoping that there will be a change in the result.

I initiated a break up with you and wanted to see you reaction.
The result was, well in fact, dissappointing,
first you wanted the relationship back but gradually, you just let it go without a fight...
How I wished you could bug me a little longer...

The Ugly truth,
A simple test,
Not much resistance,
Pufffff...
It was all long gone...

I felt that I was not worth for you to fight for me...
Not a single bit to you...
You may cry and said you love me, but I guess it's compaionship that you were looking for...
Comfort, protection...
I felt pathetic, utterly sad and I simply have no rooms to express myself with...
No one was there and I was like a living dead...
It's seem unfair, really unfair...

How I fought for you and how you fought for me,
It really hit hard on me everytime I think about it...

Many will find this it's stupid to test...
But you ain't in my shoes...
I give what you need.

My instinct was already predicting that there was someone else in the picture...
Well, It's slapped me hard yet again...

Before betrayal steps in,
I stepped out it...

My mind keep repeating this same verse again and again...
When you go, would you even turn to say
"I still love you"?

But the answer you gave was,
"I don't love you like I did yesterday"

Dont feel pressurized,
cause I know how you actually feel,
if things can't worked out,
It's my fault to test your faith...
I guess I don't really worth your time and effort.
You were strong...
And I'm sorry...

Goodbye Yeobo...
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
My aching heart...
While my heart keep cutting itself,
Memories were like nightmare each night...
They hunt me to sleep...
As my tears will keep on running,
The pain have never stopped...
Till the daylight shined,
I cried asleep...

It's definitely hard to swallow my own tears ...
But it's been worthwhile and yet again I was presented wortheless, unvalued.

Dear God, it's painful me now,
I wished you could send someone over to help me out now...
Guess I have to do it alone..

It's over... 9.27pm
Dead...

Was it intended...??

Pillow talk , indeed was interesting...

It made me realise that when the things that you used to have disappear,

you will then tend to cherish it...

When you lose it, you miss it, and you want it back...

delibrately, i lose it...

getting back, filled with different kind of emotion involved

grow stronger, be immune to this feeling...

we could simply lie on the pillow, looking at each other and start talking

but it will never happened that way....

Ukulele

I need an ukulele and start to learn how to play it.

Oh well, it's kinda of suck to feel like this.

If you choose not to talk, I can't do anything either.

Cause I played my part and I don't know what you were thinking.

If avoiding makes you feel better, then I'm truly sorry, cause I don't like to play "mind game" either.

I start to get paranoid about Your "Friend" and whatsoever...

Indeed of their influences.

Hope "July" will come really soon so I could recourse and get back my training back asap.

I kinda of stuck here with nothing to look forward to.

Iron face

I guess, it was easy to forget the past for you than to dwell within it...

I was really impressed and maybe my instinct was right afterall...

Blocked and I understand...

Goodbye, Iron lady...

Non-stop

Still staring...

I closed the chapter.

In the last chapter, I stared at the post for quite sometime.
And certainly, it's not just a post that could just explain the thoughts and the reason behind.

It's not easy explaining.
So I kept staring at it.

Once more into the fray...
Into the last good fight I'll ever know...
Live or die on this day...
Live or die on this day...