Suddenly,
there's no confident...

No more...

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!!!!
I'm so distracted by this GIRL!
SHE'S SO CUTE ARR!=)
Her name is taeyeon =D
If she's in my class,
I WILL BREAK DOWN...

Ok seriously I'm breaking down soon,
From lacking of my precious sleep...
Haven't recover the loss yet eh...
Tsk,
Sometimes I just want to say No...
But end up Ok let do it...=/
I never say no before...
But I know it hurts,
Somehow I got alot of rejection before so that is why I keep saying yes to people!!
SEE so good right?

There is too many constraint,
And i'm struck...

It's a freaking Brick wall...
Not going to screw up this time...
I'M NOT GOING TO SCREWED UP!

Just trying to move along,
Or maybe Move on...

There's so much to say,
And there is too little time...

Finding Joy in Caid...
I think it's like a game...

Hmmm, Happy Chinese new year...
Alot of CHORES to do...
Like paint the room till midnight, tidy the closet, sweep the floor, mop the floor, clean the window , wash the dishes, prepare the food,iron the clothes...
Within one day...
Arrgghhh...
Then Wash the dishes was like over and over again...
Dont really have much appetite for the reunion dinner...
Maybe I'm too tired...
Just can't eat much...

Ok, So it's the same routine for chinese new year...
Visit the relatives and YEAH Happy new year ...
I really starts to hate this Stupid visiting especially when I meet my father side Relative...

So this is what Happened...
Went to my grandaunt house there,
Then my relative happened to be there too...
So we went in...
And shake hand...
Duck: Happy New Year=)
Cousin: Happy New Year=) Who are you ar?

I didn't reply and walk off...
Hmmm, It's kinda of complicated and a long story...
So I dont really want to post about this...
But I just wanna say I NEVER want to be there...

No longer getting excited for the first day of Chinese New Year,
But for the rest of it YES MAYBE... =D

Oh ya Valentine...
=(
Once again other year HAHA!


Anyway I have Been thinking alot alot for this two days,
And it's quite hard to Draw a conclusion from this thinking...
Yeah it's confusing and Hard to understand...
But somehow it's driving me to some depression HAHA!
Other conclusion from me...
Once you are Done with the thing that you are busy with,
No matter how tired you are,
You might just fall back to your own memories...
And You will Somehow think of it...
=/ Somehow it's like this...

I have an image in my mind...
And it's you and him...
And it's like a video Playing in my mind that you still haven't get over it...
And it's like how that relationship started and how it ended...
The memories seem to be sweet?
And when I tried to be in your shoes,
I just feel so weird...
Cause Everything just sink in without giving me a reason,WHY?

Today,
I have my presentation which I thought I might screw myself up,
But,
I just pray...
And I know somehow I will put it through...

Thanks for the strength and courage that you gave today...

And,
I lie on my bed and fall asleep...
Just dont wanna think about it...

I think it's abit unfair sometimes...
Just unfair =(...

Different People different treatment...
THANNKS...
..

How long will Happy feeling stay with you?
Maybe two or three days or maybe longer?

But when someone leave you,
The sadness seems to stay with you for life...

It's like I think of the past,
Not because I want to...
But just happened to have a flashback when I saw topshop last saturday...

Did you know How hurted I am now whenever I think of it,
I told myself never to think about this again,
But I just happened to...

Am I that bad?
Like seriously?

Hmmm,
Suddenly feel so weird...
HAHA!
The girl who hurted me...
OUCH!

Anyway, ALOT OF WORK TO DO...


I don't know when,
But I know I dont dare to say yet...

Went to cell retreat on saturday,
and everyone of us is there...
Fun and enjoyable...
HAHA!
Got tribe meeting then went to ecp for cell retreat!
OK! so the things ended at 4.30 i think
Reach home at 5am...

Anyway,
important thing in cell retreat is that,
Love your enemies,
Love your neighbour was like being emphasised,

Huburt share the same problem with me...
I thought I have overcame this test that god put me in,
But i just realised that I was just running away,
The holy spirit in me,
Just tell me that I never love my enemies before,
nonetheless forgive them,
For the things that they do to me...
but running away from them,
not facing them...

In conclusion,
I haven't pass my test yet...
It's lies that I told myself,
that i have forgiven but i didn't...

Like kinda of dissappointed...
Cause I really really dont want to face it...
I dont know how to...
But my cell leader say,
Have faith in god cause he will lead you to a path and teach me how...

Ya,
I could only have faith now and wait for this test to come...
And Face it again...




Then Sometimes,
I feel kinda of regret on the things that I do...
Things that I promise myself to do,
I'm just like yes I'll do it...
But months later,
I just couldn't keep my own promise...

Maybe as it goes with the time,
It will just fade away,
But one thing for sure,
it's always there in this heart of mine...

Sorry that I couldn't keep the promise I made,
somehow it just a message from me...
It's not for you,
But me...
Just me...