Am i ,me, myself?
Or just someone else that I'm just trying or maybe pretending to be?

I felt that I'm just living in other people shadow,
the one who take other mistakes to be someone who doesn't make those mistake...

Trying to be that someone good,
Just making myself,
"GOOD"

The fact is...
It's came from that piece of heart of me...
Which,
Still telling me ...
If you change things will change...

I forgot myself,
that someone who pointed the middle finger and never hesitations to shout another word,
F***

I'm really losing my memories...
And i'm getting worried cause my head haven't stop spinning ever since 24 dec...

Maybe I'll forget you soon...

Then I go sometime again...
Hmmm,
CHRISTMAS WAS FUN!...
ROCKS!

Christmas eve went to CHURCH! WOOOHHHOOO!...
It's really good to just step in there...
The aircon and the warmth of the people there...
NICE!=D

Like it...
The performances=D
BEST...
Cause it's the first time,
I been to the church to celebrate christmas and it's really fun...
HAHA

Ok,
then went to jamie's house to countdown for christmas...
Oh well,
on the train,
Saw lady scratching the armpits,
And other lady who holds onto the handle ,
you know the handle u have to lift up your arms...
Yea...
And she never shaved...

Ok it's life,
and I called this a HORROR nightmare trip to jamie house...

Mrt...
With weird people...

Then jamie house!
Wanted to eat the noodle from the nearby midnight stall...
But then there is so much food at jamie house,
Eat alot,
then drink soft drinks...
Countdown,
AND MERRRYY CHRISTMAS=D plus Happy birthday Jesus...


The star there, so nice...

Play WII...
SUPER FUN!
HAHA
SO INTERACTIVE...!
I LIKE!=D

Friend got drunk,
But not me...

Drank a little,
And HAD MY Hangover From 24 to 26 dec2009...

I lose my balances...

The message that remind me once again...

If you change,
THINGS WILL CHANGE,
PEOPLE AROUND YOU WILL START CHANGING!
SO CHANGE YOURSELF!

Hmmm,
That is what my pastor preach...

I followed...
But,
Have I change enough,



to make the people around me change too?

I'm still trying hard...
Really,
I am...

And my heart starts to ache,
But I dont know why...

Ache somewhere but not the heart please!!!

Sunday was kinda of pathetic,
Every single match we played,
We lose,
They are so strong...

When I got the ball,
I think of you,
and I lose myself when I dribble the ball...
It's make me lose my all confidence...

The words you say...
I remember it...

Every shot I made,
The flashback came in,
I missed it...



Three more days and school is going to reopen soon...

And i just came to realise,
It's three more days...

Still taking time to realise...

Passion of Christ...
It kinda of heart aching to see Jesus got beat up and crucifix...
Just so violent...

And,
So Jesus preach to the people somewhere in the hill or something,
He said,
Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.
He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.

If you love those who love you,
what reward will you get?

Are not even the tax collectors doing that?
And if you greet only your brothers,
what are you doing more than others?

Do not even pagans do that?
Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Can you believe this...
I just post that I wont want to give a damn to that insensitive person
and then the movie just made an impact on me...
God Like saying...
Douglas, you have to love your enemies...

Arrrh,
Father, How am I going to do that?
Maybe I'm insensitive too...

Give me some time to get this right...
I need time too...=(
Never mind,
I will just pray...



and I made a watch using the software!=D

Btw to my brothers and sister:
I just read all of your blog...
Kao,
Why so emo?
Can dont so emo...
I see you guys like that I super sad can...

I SHALL PULL THAT BIG SMILE ON ALL YOUR FACES!



And there goes,
Life always have their ups and downs...
So is how we are going to respond to it...

Derek,
If you need a good listener,
Or maybe I would like to be the first one to know your problem,
You can call me,
I can be an absolutely choices as a good listener k...=D

Tired...

Ok well,
this week,
Supposed to go school and help out with Caid modelling...
But never really help much...
So,
I'm Sorry...

But don't know why so tired...

Then once again,
it's start all over again...

I wont want to talk about you,
Cause you are just so insensitive afterall,
GOODBYE,
Cause I dont want to give a damn...

Today went out and meet the BIG GROUP
went vivocity to eat japanese food and Thank alot guys for the 500 GB HARDRIVE =D
Thank you =D
and
Just wanted to be sad,
maybe i'm too tired,
and brain is not thinking...

tomorrow will be a happy day,
it will be,
it must be...=D

Then sometimes,
I just want to know how I feel but,
I really dont know what i'm feeling...
I know it's sound stupud,
But it's like it's some unsettled feeling that it's still in my heart...

And I felt that there is something there...
I'm always good at running away from things,
And now I learnt to hide things away...

I dont like that feeling of keeping them in...


Like a stump with grains that looks like cuts...
I'm in the middle of it ....



Trying to hide myself,
And yet want to be found by you...
How long will it take for you to realise,
that i'm still there...
Waiting...

Like a sad...
HAHA!

Finally, it's over and i got the time to post =D.... Very tiring module that I just wanted to finish it off today! WOOOOHOOOO!!!=D
Hmmm thanks to my laptop (buddy)=D He work so hard and fight along with me ... Thank you buddy!HAHA
And my poly friend chiong their work at my house on wednesday night and friday night... Like very happening...
And I never sleep Became a zombie doing alias and i dont even understand what i am talking sometimes...
Sometime i think i'm should just go for language class or how to make a sentences that would make people understand what you mean...

Well,

this is the helmet i design, it's a motorcycle made by adidas... This is the third edited Adidas version... Adidas logo just bring me along to work harder... Somehow it links to basketball...=D

(I'm uploading the video in youtube so please wait)
And this is my animation that I have created... It's quite fun to create an animation like things starts to move and the product look so alive...HAHA

It's has a very high price to pay for this animation...
It has a 1000 frame which means that this animation has 1000 pictures...
So in order to get his 1000 picture render in time, I divide them into 10 sections... I thought i very smart... I save the 10 sections from 1 to 10...
( this step is to chim to understand) The objective is I need to rename 955 pictures. (the other 55 pictures I deleted aways cause there is no movement)
And I was like super stress cause i have to rename them one by one and need to get them ready by 9.30am yesterday morning and i came into the lab at 9.12am...
Then i panic...
Cause i render the whole night and i dont want my animation goes to the drain like this... So I click and click and click to rename the 955 pictures but luckily the lecturer came in at 10.10am...
Phew... And i finish rename the file at 10.08am...
So scary...
And each time I rename I pray that the lecturer could come after 10am...

Each minutes passes and the more I pray...

I dont know what I can say, But thank you god for being there...

HOLIDAYS!
I want to learn Flash,
I want to go secret training,
I want to go somewhere not that far...